Questions about marriage: 1 Cor.7

Chapter 7 begins the section of the letter that deals with all the questions raised by the member of the church in Corinth. It begins with the phrase: Now concerning the things you wrote about, followed by a quote from their correspondence. The more recent translations under the NIV banner have moved away from the rather misleading translation: It is better for a man not to marry. Such a translation of Paul's original phrase cannot be sustained, and worse still causes confusion about Paul's attitude towards marriage as a whole. Literally Paul says, or rather quotes what the Corinthians are saying as: It is better for a man not to touch a woman.
This is a Greek idiom that is better translated as: It is better for a man not to have sexual relationships with a woman.

Marriage is not the issue, sex is.

What's going on in Corinth?

From the context the first thing we should note is that this question is not about sex in general, but specifically about sexual intercourse in the context of marriage. Hence, the question being asked in Corinth is this: Now we are Christians, should married couples continue to have sex or is it better for them spiritually speaking to abstain?

Where does this come from?

"Spiritualised eschatology". In other words, they saw themselves as "above physical things" because they were now spiritual. Perhaps they even thought of themselves of as having already attained the resurrection (in 2 Tim.2 Paul refers to those who taught that resurrection had already happened) This may have led them to believe that they were already like the angels neither marrying nor giving in marriage (Were some Corinthian parents refusing their children the right to marry or rejecting marriage for themselves on the same basis?)

For others, the physical side of life was unimportant, an idea imported by some from Greek philosophy. This meant that they saw sex as something non-spiritual and therefore it simply didn't matter. Whether with your wife or a prostitute, sex did not affect you because your spirit and your body were two separate things. This might go some way to explaining the other issue of immorality among the congregation at the time.

There's also the possibility that they see marriage as a distraction. Certainly it's possible to draw that implication form what Paul has to say (26, 32). If he's their example then he is either single, or married and celibate for the kingdom.

And if they were married, then sex was either a distraction, or at worse a submitting to someone else's control and therefore working against their new found freedom in Christ. Consequently its possible that they are refusing to fulfil their marital duties as Paul describes it, in favour of a higher purpose and that's causing the knock on effect of immorality.

The human mind is a complex thing!

What is certainly true is that there was:

1. Pressure to not marry
2. Pressure to abstain from sex within marriage
3. Pressure to dissolve marriages, whether to a Christian or a non-Christian

Their spiritualised, sex-free marriages, rather than making them more spiritual had in fact had the opposite impact, and had even increased sexual immorality with prostitutes (6:16)

How does Paul answer them?

Overriding point is: Don't seek a change of status (v17)

The focus of his argument

Paul's background is Jewish. One of the basic texts on human relationships that Paul would have known is: "It is not good for man to be alone". (Gen.2:18) It's doubtful therefore that any prohibition of marriage (or rather a preference for singleness) from Paul comes from a viewpoint of what it means to be holy. Later Paul makes the point that singleness is preferred because of:

1. the ability to focus (32), a married person has responsibilities and ties and that limit his or her availability for ministry and mission.

2. the current crisis (26) [not identified]

Because of this, Paul states a preference for being single.But he's not saying become this, he's simply stating a preference.

Paul's' answers

1. Don't abstain except by mutual consent. This is a concession Paul is willing to make. Maybe he sees some value in terms of self-control and purpose, but I think he's just saying "if that's how you feel you can make progress as Christians, then do it, but it's not the best choice (but would Paul really think like that?)

2. Don't seek a change in status for the sake of change. In other words don't make getting married the focus of your attention and certainly don't make getting unmarried the ficus either.

3. Don't force yourself into a pattern of life for which you are not suited. Paul sees himself as suited for celibacy, he even sees it as a gift. Others are not like Paul and he recognises that, so he says, "Go get married, it's okay, it's not a sin."

4. Don't make rules for other people.

But what about a mixed marriage?

Again Paul says, "Stay as you are", but this time he adds a caveat: if the unbelieving partner is willing. Paul is talking to those who have come to faith whilst married to a partner who hasn't yet come to faith. He isn't addressing the thorny issue of whether a Christian should marry a non-Christian. The question that arises in this part of the argument is one of sanctification.

In this instance "sanctified" does not equate to "saved" in the way we understand it. No-one becomes a believer just by being married to a believer. Rom 11:16 If the part of the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, then the whole batch is holy.

Paul's argument here is that the unbeliever is not saved but that the believer is not tarnished by having a physical relationship with their unbelieving spouse. Furthermore the children are not impacted either. It would seem that the Corinthians had got themselves into a position where contact, especially physical, with an unbeliever was a dangerous thing.

Conclusion

Paul's view of marriage is quite clear:

It's okay to marry.

There are reasons to not marry in the first place, but there are no reasons to dissolve a marriage because it's more spiritual to be single. Furthermore, if you are married, healthy sexual relationship is the norm, it's something you work out as a couple. The only concession Paul makes is that there may be short periods of time when you choose, mutually, to abstain for a spiritual reason, but it's only a concession, not a rule.

Singleness, as a way of life, can only be a blessing by grace, it's a gift says Paul, a gift not everyone has.

Perhaps Paul's overall point is simply this:

Don't over spiritualise yourselves, and don't seek to change your circumstances in order to become more spiritual, learn to be more spiritual in the situation in which you live day-to-day.